When you say you love me, know I love you more.
... playing in the background as i sit hear two days after valentines day. thinking.
why did this song just come on?
after a long day my glass of wine has magically refilled itself about 4 times and i finally decided to give in to exactly what i had refused to do for many years now... start my own blog.
life positioned me to become a mentor. god created my brain to always visualize myself as the eldest in the room, the most responsible. for as long as i remember every hair that fell from my dad's head as he balded with age, i blamed myself for.
life grew me, it molded me, it bitchslapped me across the face many many times but ultimately it cultivated me with all my issues to be exactly what i am.
two years ago i started blogging, always anonymously, always on other individuals' blogs, and always had the most feedback.
they told me to start my own blog but simply the idea of putting all of my thoughts into a website was baffling to me. could i really paint that picture to the world? of how crazy i truly am?
it was theraputic, healthy, and a good way to work on my own writing skills personally, but it was scary.
Well as i sit here today, just a little intoxicated into my sixth glass, knowing i've probably fallen as low as it gets, i think i'm finally doing it, starting my own blog.
And who knows, maybe this will be the only post and i will get bored with this after this first post, like i have with everyone and everything else with my life.
-XOXO
currently wishing he was next to me - or in me
-HIMEROS
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